Keep At It! Find the Small Things Happening Around You

I always thought of my children's education this way.  When the time was right, they would learn what they needed to learn.  Amazingly, it works, especially when you believe it 100%.

As an adult educator, I work with many adults who had limited educational experiences during their lives.  By educational experiences I mean they weren't surrounded by parents, family, and community members that read, write, or spoke well.  Due to that, they often feel defeated easily.  I keep encouraging them to keep at it.  Look for the small improvements they are making in their learning. I think the mistake we often make is looking at the big picture and feeling disappointed when our big goal hasn't been met.  Look for the small things that are happening with your children.  Those tiny accomplishments lead to great things!

I LOVE SCHOOL

In a few short weeks my teenagers will finish their first year of school ever. It has been a year of not just learning the rules of school, but adjusting our mindset.  Having been homeschoolers for so many years, we categorized all schooled kids as mean and competitive with no desire to learn on their own. Not true.  We also believed school curriculum to be a waste of time.  Not true. Some of it is of course, but a lot has been very interesting and helpful.   We also realized that schooled kids and teachers have many misconceptions about homeschooled kids.  Many  believe that homeschooled kids do not ever leave their homes and are not social beings. Not true.  My daughter has made sure to bust that myth!  There is also a sterotype that if homeschooled, you must be super smart.   Again, not true. Homeschoolers, just like schooled kids, come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and intelligences.  This year we also learned that one of the things we like the most about school is it is dependable.  Each day it starts and ends at the same time and when you agree to be somewhere, you are there on time. This has been one of our favorite things about schooled kids.  They are dependable.  We also found that parents are very involved with their kids and take an active role in making sure they are safe, while giving them the freedom to grow and be who they are.    

At the beginning of this school year, we sent one very quiet child and one very social child.  At the end of the school year, they both have the same characteristics:  one quiet and one very social (maybe even more social, actually).  While we might not have sent homeschooled geniuses, we did send two people who were quite capable of accomplishing goals.  Both kids entered school excited to learn along with a desire to participate in the high school experience.  So many times this school year I have heard my daughter say, "I LOVE school."  As an unschooling momma, all I can do is be happy.  She followed the path that was right for her and she experienced success.  Did she have some tough days?  You bet!  As hard as that is to watch, I also know it is part of living life. After participating in both cross country and track this year, she has a close group of friends, but doesn't hesitate to also hang out with friends outside of her core group.  She attended dances, after school events, and more.  She worried about her grades and challenged herself to do well.   She took an experience and made the most of it.  She is already excited for what next year as a sophomore has to offer her.

My son chose to enter high school as a part-time junior.  He took two electives: woods and automotive   He was thrilled when both of his teachers commented individually that they know he homeschools and hopes his schedule works out next year to continue in their classes.  It will work.  In fact, with the help of a very caring counselor who has taken a special interest in helping Alexander and loves the fact that he homeschools, he will be taking four elective classes his senior year rather than two classes.  He will also be at school during lunch period which gives him a better chance to socialize.  

Our first year in the public school system has been good.  While there have been a few annoying teachers and students, both kids have found their peers and teachers to be very supportive and encouraging.  I agree.  The best part of our unschooling journey has been letting go of it when its time in our family ran out.  It took courage for all three of us to leave behind what once worked for us and find a new path that works for now.  I am very proud of us!

Sophia's fashion design teacher made class very relaxing.  Her goal was that the girls enjoy sewing.   This was her first project. 

And her second project.  The pants even have pockets.

Alexander made this table.  We are waiting on the glass for the top to arrive.  At both  parent teacher conferences, I spent the majority of time discussing homeschooling with Alexander's woods teacher.  He had so many great questions and a real interest and appreciation for homeschooling.  Plus, a very interesting life of his own that I loved learning about.  He clapped when I told him Alexander was there by choice and as long as he learned, he didn't care about grades.

Good Choice

Saturday morning I was at Sophia's high school at 4am to help out with her track team's lock-in.  What a great experience for me.  While I know going to school has been a perfect choice for Sophia, I just wanted to sit and soak up the feeling I had watching her.  She is at home when at school.  She loves the schedule, activities and social life.  I saw how she went to school in August not knowing one other person and now has a whole range of friendships.  At 4:30 am, I watched her run for 20 minutes and then head back over to enjoy all of the friends she has made who not only make her laugh, but inspire her to be more than she already is.

Home for the Holidays

After 11:00 this morning, both kiddos will be finished with finals and have completed their first semester of school ever!  I am so proud of them.  They both decided to give high school a try this year and jumped in with both feet.  Sophia completed a successful season of cross country and found that she loves it.  She will be running track soon and is participating in long distance runs with the team during the winter months!   Each night she came home, studied, and did her best. Alexander took two elective classes and found that although a lot of time can be wasted in school, he learned a lot.  Plus, he has some great wood projects to show for his time in school.

I look forward to having both kids home with me over the winter break.  It will be nice to have our evenings free again with no homework or worries. Plus, my brain needs a rest from helping with homework! But, as they return to school in January, I look forward to watching them grow and challenge themselves.  As much as I loved our years of homeschooling, public high school has been a wonderful step forward for all of us.

Happy holidays and thanks for reading my blog.  I appreciate it.  

Transitioning from Unschooler to Schooled Kids

We followed our heart when it came to educating our children.  They spent their lives playing, socializing, exploring, and most importantly following their own time lines.  Many eyebrows were raised even in the unschooling community as I let my kids wait until they were ready for math, reading, and other "educational" learning.  In the end, they did just fine.  I attended parent teacher conferences today and according to their teachers they are both meeting or exceeding expectations.  In fact, every teacher was surprised that they have never been to school because they are both adapting so well.  When I explained to one teacher that my son is not concerned with his grade and never looks to see what it is, he was pleasantly surprised.  I love it.

I've Become a Grade Monster

My greatest realization since my kids started school for the first time over a month ago is that grades are addictive.  They are so addictive that one can become obsessed with them and turn into a "grade monster."   The surprising thing is that the grade monster isn't one of my kids, it is me. It is me that was always a "C" or "B" student no matter how hard I tried.  It is me that as an elementary school teacher hated giving grades and preferred asking the kids how they felt about their progress.  It is me who as an unschooling mom have rejoiced in the fact that my children never had to be judged for their abilities or lack of abilities.  It is me who as an adult education teacher still avoids giving any grades besides "Pass/Fail" which I am required to do by the community college. Yikes!!!!  What happened to me?

When the kids decided to try high school this year (one part-time and the other full-time), we went with the intention that this was a learning experience and like my own parents, I would not concentrate on grades.  (Thanks Mom and Dad!)  The only expectation I shared with the kids was that as a teacher, I did expect them to complete work on time and be respectful.  (Personally, I hate grading a stack of papers and then have to go back later to grade a few stragglers.)

After the first few weeks of school, I learned that I had access to their grades, attendance, behavior, etc. This seemed innocent enough, but it wasn't.  I was on the site after one of the kid's first exams and realized that I had learned of their test score before they had.  I was horrified.  I got that sick feeling in my stomach when you know something you shouldn't.  I made a quick call to my sister admitting my guilt. I felt like I had intruded on my kid's ability to come home and share their test score with me themselves or more importantly, not share it at all if they didn't want to.  I was horrified that I was given this much information about my children.

When my child came home, I once again shared my guilt.  I was sure my child was going to be offended that I knew of the test score before he/she did.  Surprisingly, I found that both of  my children have no problem with me seeing their scores. I felt the guilt leave my body, but knew I didn't want to feel this intrusion again.  I made a decision then and there that I would not go to that site again because even though my children were fine with it, I wasn't.

Well, this is where the monster in me took over.  Soon the kids were asking how they did on different exams and assignments and I became hooked on checking out this site.  One of my children thinks the site is great because you can see your progress as you go along and make tweaks in your grade if needed.  That is all fine and dandy if you don't have a monster living within you.   As I spent more and more time helping one of my kids with homework, I found that I was often on this site checking grades.  When my child was at 89.3% in a class I thought, "Okay, we just need to get more focused on studying and then we can get this up to an 'A'." I was taking this personally, as if the grade was a reflection of how well I helped my child.  When I mentioned to one of my kids that with a little more work we could get that grade up to an "A", my child replied, "Is there something wrong with having a "B"?  As long as I am learning what I came to learn, that is all that matters."  Oh boy!  This wasn't about "we", this is about "them".  This is their experience.  I have taught them well that life is about learning and enjoying, not making a grade.  Somehow in this new experience for me as a parent of schooled kids, I forgot that goal of learning.

I can't say that I am completely cured of my grade monster disease, but I do feel like I am on a good track back to sanity.  My kids are doing great and as always, taking the best of what is in front of them.  I am so lucky to have them here to keep me on track because grades seem to be a weakness for me as a parent.      

While the Kids are at School

You may wonder what a mom does while her kids are at school.  Well, on this particular morning this mom  made a pot of tea, grabbed a Larabar, and sat down to watch recordings of Sex and the City.  Perfect!